"Of course we all have our limits, but how can you possibly find your boundaries unless you explore as far and as wide as you possibly can. I would rather fail in an attempt at something new and uncharted than safely succeed in a repeat of something I have done."
-A. E. HotchnerYou Sticks In The Mud.
So I don’t want to preach the tween age theme song, but I feel like almost no one understands me! Haha oh my gosh, how twelve-years-old of me. Okay, if you don’t already know this, know this now, I do silly things. I say silly things. I’m just silly. That’s my personality. I’m so high on life, and so happy with what I have, that I don’t bother “acting cool”. Acting calm and reserved fits some people, BUT NOT FOR ME! I like to make life interesting, be silly, spontaneous, dramatic, exciting, loud, and sometimes a little bit crazy. Why? Because I would be SO BORED with myself if I just shut up and watched the world happen without me. So what if I dance in public? So what if I eat like a horse? So what if I talk non-stop? I know my limits. I know when things are appropriate and when they’re not. That comes from my up-bringing, thank you mom & dad! So it’s easy to decipher.
What else? Wow. I might say A LOT of things that make you laugh, that are eccentric, or that are flat out weird… and you might laugh… but I’ll laugh with you. Hello, I KNOW HOW TO LAUGH. I know how to take a joke and if it’s TRULY funny and you don’t cross the line TOO much, then I’ll laugh with you. Why would I make it awkward and not laugh? I grew up with THREE OLDER BROTHERS who constantly picked on me, I think I could handle your jokes. The only point where I won’t be laughing is when you start picking at my character and start judging who I am. I’m here, living life trying to have fun, and you’re trying to judge people and ruin that fun? Uh no. If you start to genuinely think I’m a stupid, ditzy, or even obsessive, then you have another thing coming. Excuse me, I can talk intellectual conversations, talk about a wide range of things and at the same time whoop you in a debate contest. I’m not obsessive about anything, why isn’t it okay to be excited about things? While everyone’s trying to remain their cool, I’m having fun let loose! I think it’s funny when those people are the ones that have to drink first to let loose. I’m not like that. I simply need life in front of me and I’m good.
So my point is… next time you poke a joke, that’s fine. Next time you poke a joke AND make a judgment off of someone’s good time, then just GTFOH, cause I am clearly doing fine without your judging crap! (: Have a great day!
SYDNEY - In those bleak moments when the lost souls stood atop the cliff, wondering whether to jump, the sound of the wind and the waves was broken by a soft voice. “Why don’t you come and have a cup of tea?” the stranger would ask. And when they turned to him, his smile was often their salvation.
For almost 50 years, Don Ritchie has lived across the street from Australia’s most notorious suicide spot, a rocky cliff at the entrance to Sydney Harbour called The Gap. And in that time, the man widely regarded as a guardian angel has shepherded countless people away from the edge.
What some consider grim, Ritchie considers a gift. How wonderful, the former life insurance salesman says, to save so many. How wonderful to sell them life.
“You can’t just sit there and watch them,” says Ritchie, now 84, perched on his beloved green leather chair, from which he keeps a watchful eye on the cliff outside. “You gotta try and save them. It’s pretty simple.”
Since the 1800s, Australians have flocked to The Gap to end their lives, with little more than a 3-foot (1 meter) fence separating them from the edge. Local officials say about one person a week commits suicide there, and in January, the Woollahra Council applied for 2.1 million Australian dollars ($1.7 million) in federal funding to build a higher fence and overhaul security.
In the meantime, Ritchie keeps up his voluntary watch. The council recently named Ritchie and Moya, his wife of 58 years, 2010’s Citizens of the Year.
He’s saved 160 people, according to the official tally, but that’s only an estimate. Ritchie doesn’t keep count. He just knows he’s watched far more walk away from the edge than go over it.
Dianne Gaddin likes to believe Ritchie was at her daughter’s side before she jumped in 2005. Though he can’t remember now, she is comforted by the idea that Tracy felt his warmth in her final moments.
“He’s an angel,” she says. “Most people would be too afraid to do anything and would probably sooner turn away and run away. But he had the courage and the charisma and the care and the magnetism to reach people who were coming to the end of their tether.”
Each morning, he climbs out of bed, pads over to the bedroom window of his modest, two-story home, and scans the cliff. If he spots anyone standing alone too close to the precipice, he hurries to their side.
Some he speaks with are fighting medical problems, others suffering mental illness. Sometimes, the ones who jump leave behind reminders of themselves on the edge — notes, wallets, shoes. Ritchie once rushed over to help a man on crutches. By the time he arrived, the crutches were all that remained.
In his younger years, he would occasionally climb the fence to hold people back while Moya called the police. He would help rescue crews haul up the bodies of those who couldn’t be saved. And he would invite the rescuers back to his house afterward for a comforting drink.
It all nearly cost him his life once. A chilling picture captured decades ago by a local news photographer shows Ritchie struggling with a woman, inches from the edge. The woman is seen trying to launch herself over the side — with Ritchie the only thing between her and the abyss. Had she been successful, he would have gone over, too.
These days, he keeps a safer distance. The council installed security cameras this year and the invention of mobile phones means someone often calls for help before he crosses the street.
But he remains available to lend an ear, though he never tries to counsel, advise or pry. He just gives them a warm smile, asks if they’d like to talk and invites them back to his house for tea. Sometimes, they join him.
“I’m offering them an alternative, really,” Ritchie says. “I always act in a friendly manner. I smile.”
A smile cannot, of course, save everyone; the motivations behind suicide are too varied. But simple kindness can be surprisingly effective. Mental health professionals tell the story of a note left behind by a man who jumped off San Francisco’s Golden Gate Bridge. If one person smiles at me on the way to the bridge, the man wrote, I will not jump.
Kevin Hines wishes someone like Ritchie was there the day he jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge in 2000. For 40 agonizing minutes, the then-19-year-old paced the bridge, weeping, and hoping someone would ask him what was wrong. One tourist finally approached — but simply asked him to take her picture. Moments later, he jumped.
Hines, who suffers from bipolar disorder, was severely injured, but eventually recovered. Today he says if one person had shown they were not blind to his pain, he probably would never have jumped.
“A smile can go a long way — caring can go even further. And the fact that he offers them tea and he just listens, he’s really all they wanted,” Hines says. “He’s all a lot of suicidal people want.”
In 2006, the government recognized Ritchie’s efforts with a Medal of the Order of Australia, among the nation’s highest civilian honors. It hangs on his living room wall above a painting of a sunshine someone left in his mailbox. On it is a message calling Ritchie “an angel that walks amongst us.”
He smiles bashfully. “It makes you — oh, I don’t know,” he says, looking away. “I feel happy about it.”
But he speaks readily and fondly of one woman he saved, who came back to thank him. He spotted her sitting alone one day, her purse already beyond the fence. He invited her to his house to meet Moya and have tea. The couple listened to her problems and shared breakfast with her. Eventually, her mood improved and she drove home.
A couple of months later, she returned with a bottle of champagne. And about once a year, she visits or writes, assuring them she is happy and well.
There have been a few, though, that he could not save. One teenager ignored his coaxings and suddenly jumped. A wind blew the boy’s hat into Ritchie’s outstretched hand.
He later found out the teen had lived next door, years earlier. His mother brought Ritchie flowers and thanked him for trying. If you couldn’t have talked him out of it, she told him, no one could.
Despite all he has seen, he says he is not haunted by the ones who were lost. He cannot remember the first suicide he witnessed, and none have plagued his nightmares. He says he does his best with each person, and if he loses one, he accepts that there was nothing more he could have done.
Nor have he and Moya ever felt burdened by the location of their home.
“I think, ‘Isn’t it wonderful that we live here and we can help people?’” Moya says, her husband nodding in agreement.
Their life has been a good one, they say. They raised three beautiful daughters and now have three grandchildren to adore. They have traveled the world, and their home is decorated with statues and masks from their journeys. Ritchie proudly points out a dried, shellacked piranha — a souvenir from their vacation to the Amazon, where he insisted on swimming with the creatures (to Moya’s dismay).
Until about a year ago, the former Navy seaman enjoyed a busy social life, regularly lunching with friends. But battles with cancer and his advancing years have taken their toll, and now he spends most days at home with Moya, buried in a good book. His current read: the Dalai Lama’s “The Art of Happiness.”
Every now and then, he looks up from his books to scan the horizon for anyone who might need him. He’ll keep doing so, he says, for as long as he’s here.
And when he’s not?
He chuckles softly.
“I imagine somebody else will come along and do what I’ve been doing.”
He gazes through the glass door to the cliff outside. And his face is lit with a smile.
(via caughtinsideitspages)
She’s Always Been.
The person that I aim to be has some how withered away in a distance. It seems with each passing day, that distance lengthens and I’m no longer walking, but more standing still. I see her smiling at me, but with only a half smile because she knows that where she is .. is where I want to be but I guess sometimes I don’t always go the path she wants me to.
The person I want to be is beautiful.. inside and out. She takes wonderful care of herself, her family, friends, loved ones in general, while being successful of taking care of her heart and her life. She has everything in control and strides to be nothing less than that. Her hopes and wishes are to continue on being happy and enjoying the most of life because she knows that her life is as fragile as a thin peice of thread that can be cut by the sharpness of life at any given moment.
The person that is staring at me, waving me to come join her is a person that knows who she is, and doesn’t sacrifice her top priorities to be there. She keeps everything in tact, while being a genuine, and kind person. She does all that she can while keeping everything in perspective.
She not only stands over there, but she shines in the light because she is what she believes is made in the image of her Savior. She is happy, with no regrets and smiling because it took so much of her to get to where she is. She has tear drops slowly gliding down her cheek as she looks back at her life up to the point she is at, and is proud to be who she is at this very moment. Her hands are clenched together, intertwined with each other, because she can barely keep in her desire for me to join her, on the other side. She’s waiting for me to cross that line to join her. She’s always been waiting. She’s always been shining there. And I’ve always known of her and her presence. I’ve always known that she wanted me to join her.. however I choose to torture myself.
I choose to be this person that stands on the side she wishes I wouldn’t. The one flaw to this person that I see in the distance is that I’m her sole reason for pain. Although when I look at her, she is strong, she is painfully trying with every thing she has in her body for me to join her. She knows that I’m not happy and that I’m lost. I feel like she’s been searching for me all this time, and I keep aging her. But is that possible? But if it isn’t the pain I’m causing her by not finding my way to her side, It has to be the distance I create with every mistake I make by taking a step back.
How is it possible that this person, this woman I aim to be is so beautiful and so amazing in every possible way, is hurting.. I guess that’s my own fault. Someday, I will meet her on that other side, but for now, in the meanwhile.. I will have to punish myself for allowing this much pain to enter onto both sides of the line. So I’m putting down this mirror.. for now but I will come back. And when I do, I will smile, and cry, knowing she’s saying “Finally..” and I will say back to her.. “Finally..”
