Finding Your Place.

I love the idea of Open Door Policy, but unless you’re born here in America, or brought up in this type of culture, I feel that concept is very difficult for Asians & other ethnicities that have a very high regard for higher authority. For me, I would love to be able to speak up or say things on my mind to a manager, but I could never do so or else I feel like it would come off too arrogant. Even if they’re wrong, I have been taught to not talk back & respect. So I always smile and nod my head. It’s only if it’s TRULY important do I even consider taking the managers aside and let them know politely what’s going on. I’m very outspoken for someone brought up from a Vietnamese background, so I think I say too much, but what about those who don’t say anything at all? It’s amazing how those who speak out loud are the ones that praised all the time, but what about those who come here to work, do their best, and take the lashings of everyone around them by keeping quiet? I feel society tends to re-enforce bad behavior. We re-enforce the idea of talking back, and what not. Why? Because it’s those that speak out that are seen, and are fresh in memory, while the rest fade away into the abyss of society’s mind. 

Now, in combination of my subordinateness, I’m very “smiley” I’ve been told. At work, I get picked on a lot. I can name about 5 people off the top of my head, EASILY, that pick on me on a daily basis, but that’s because I smile it off. They say that I never let it get to me, and I just laugh it off. Don’t get me wrong, I do smile it off. Most of the time. But if you combine that “smile it off” attitude with a “no talking back attitude” sometimes I come home feeling like I don’t really have an opinion on things. And I feel like for NOT speaking what’s on my mind, I’m getting punished for NOT being communicative. It’s such a paradox. You can’t win. It’s kind of ridiculous. *Sigh. OH life….